White on Rice

So many money making opportunities coming by email these days…

My friend Wang Yongli, a Chinese investment banker with the renowned ICBC Bank, just contacted me through the internet, a medium which has been “severely abused, but remains the fastest means of communication”. Yongli guarantees “100% rice and friendship transfer for the partnership and the entire counter”, which I take to mean friendly rice all over my counter. Not sure I need that. He goes on to say “The men are private, and they are able to respect the forces.” I am not sure what this means. I suppose the men who bring the rice are discreet; God forbid your neighbours find out that you have rice all over your counter and they do not. I love that they respect the Force, which I assume refers to Roula as she is generally in charge of the kitchen.

Anyway, having Canada’s only rice-covered counter would bring me “a total of 27 million euros in the most legal way”.

I’d be all over this (like white on rice!) except we have a significant investment in granite counter tops, and “remove and replace” is not mentioned in her email.

There’s always a catch…